Colorado – Net Zero & Other Comedies

  • Posted: June 12, 2023
  • Category: Blog
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I continue to be amazed at the speed with which Colorado became a colony of the West Coast. Just like earlier immigrants to the New World, young people have been coming to Colorado seeking opportunity and escape from the stultifying urban dystopias of the West Coast. I am equally amazed at how these refugees seek to recreate the very place they left. In contrast to our forefathers, those earlier immigrants to the New World intent on forging a new nation, these West Coast escapees eschew their new freedom, seeking to reforge their chains.

Perhaps it was our forefathers who were the outliers. Rather than those earlier immigrants, today’s new Coloradans are rather the spiritual children of the Hebrews who fled Egypt in the Exodus some thirty two centuries ago. Those Hebrews had been slaves for 400 years, where the Egyptians “set taskmasters over them to afflict with their burdens”. These ex-Californians et.al. suffered from the diktats of faceless regulatory bureaucrats rather than whip wielding Egyptian taskmasters, but both these ex-Californians and ancient Hebrews “cried out”.

But freedom can be a hard gig. It always has been. Perhaps it was Thomas Paine who best expressed the attitude of America’s earlier immigrants:

“I do not wish to be a kept person, humbled and dulled by having the State look after me. . . . I will not trade my freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid, to think and act for myself, to enjoy the benefits of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, This with God’s help, I have done.”

To be sure, nobody would mistake Colorado’s newest immigrants for Tom Paine. Instead they very much resemble those ancient Hebrews, who no sooner had been given their freedom and release from Egypt when they cried out again:

“Oh, that we had died by the hand of the Lord in Egypt (Colorado), when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into this wilderness (Colorado) to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

The ancient Hebrews complained about hunger and water and much else, but what they really hungered for was the comfort of the dole, the carefully curated bounds of their former home in Egypt.  Our new neighbors from LA, from the Bay Area, from Portland, from Seattle, are not homesick for food like the ancient Hebrews. Instead they long for the same constrained environment of their former existence, the buffered bubble of virtue signaling from which they ran.

Whereas the ancient Hebrews had to contend with Moses and an omnipotent God who condemned them to spend the rest of their lives in the desert for their fecklessness, our ex-Californians exercised their right to vote and in the absence of a modern day Moses rebuilt their buffered bubble of virtue signaling. As a result, Colorado’s legislature is now indistinguishable from the one in the states they left.

Surprisingly enough, pursuing the same policies in Colorado create the same results as on the West Coast. Downtown Denver is now a homeless encampment, defunding the police has led to an auto theft rate topping the nation – auto thefts doubling from 2019 to 2021. And now, in that de rigueur foundation stone of virtue signaling, Colorado is enlisted in the desperate battle to save the sea turtles by charging for plastic shopping bags.

But the downside of our legislature’s herculean efforts to wrest Colorado out of its Deplorable disgrace is that our roads are shamefully bad, even visitors from Illinois complain. When visitors from Illinois complain about Colorado’s roads, it is like Cuban or Haitian refugees complaining the food was more plentiful back home. We have potholes so deep they roll cars hitting them. US Route 40, Colorado’s main North/South highway west of the Front Range, resembles a road on the Ukrainian front lines after a week-long artillery barrage.

Of course our virtuous rainbow flag flaps proudly in the breeze. Actually, Colorado didn’t have that far to go. Until the recent ending of the Trans-Gender Dark Ages, the small coal mining town of Trinidad had been Colorado’s little secret, known only to the cognoscenti as “the sex change capital of the world”. Dr. Stanley Biber had been doing sex change operations at Trinidad’s Mt. San Rafael Hospital there for 50 years, providing the declining town’s economic engine.

Colorado’s 2023 Legislature continued its recent tradition of passing ground breaking Pride legislation. After all the “LGBT think tank Movement Advancement Project ranks Colorado 2nd to Nevada in LGBT rights legislation”. Since it is only American to want to be 1st, our legislature made a play for No. 1 by passing “respectfully-implemented legislation that protect, defend and guarantee gender-affirming healthcare services within Colorado and safe passage of transgender individuals from interstate”.

To widespread acclaim in trendy downtown apartments – the preferred habitat of recent immigrants, the Colorado House addressed rampant downtown homelessness by passing a bill to control rents statewide. Virtually everyone outside of Ivy League faculty lounges realizes the destructive effect of rent control on housing. Rent control puts homelessness on steroids, but it does allow downtown hipsters to afford their lifestyle. Luckily, the Colorado Senate retains a beleaguered remnant of Old Colorado’s Neanderthals, narrowly defeating it.

The Colorado Legislature did yeoman work to combat the breathtaking increase in auto theft by passing legislation making auto theft a felony in all cases. Wow, who knew stealing cars wasn’t against the law? They also increased funding for the “Auto Theft Prevention Cash Fund”. One wonders how many Gender Studies PhD’s from the University of California – Berkeley are employed by the Fund?

Just to show they were covering all the bases, our legislature passed comprehensive gun control bills. Even though a brief survey of crimes involving firearms in the State offers definitive proof that existing gun laws are enforced with the same degree of rigor as highway speed limits, our Legislature was not dismayed. Continuing to reinforce the bubble of virtue signaling now engulfing Colorado, we are now cracking down on “ghost” guns.

The required trench warfare against the racist attitudes of Colorado’s native troglodytes is slowing Colorado’s full immersion into the California Age. But the urgency of the battle against Climate Change brought out the full power of the Californian zeitgeist now dominant in Colorado.

Our Governor, in a close race with Pete Buttigieg to be America’s first gay President, recently signed several bills continuing his administration’s drive to define Colorado’s “energy policy”. The common denominator of this year’s legislation was the dual theme of reducing gas/electric utility bills, while accelerating Colorado’s energy transition.

That this is an obvious oxymoron passed without mention in the fawning media’s reports. It must be said that Colorado’s media at our Governor’s photo ops reminds one of teenage girls at a Taylor Swift concert.

One of our legislature’s proudest accomplishments was Senate Bill 23-16. The Governor’s signing photo op celebrating this achievement featured Girl Scout Troop 67358 looking on worshipfully. The Girl Scouts were heavily invested in favor of Senate Bill 23-16’s passage having testified in favor of its passage, evidently defining the “expert” testimony at the legislative hearings.

While the clueless political naïf might smile at the idea of a Girl Scout Troop offering relevant testimony on serious energy legislation, such is the ignorance of the naïf. As Charles De Gaulle remarked that “politics is too serious a matter to be left to politicians”, so does the priesthood of Mother Earth realize that “energy is too serious a matter to be left to anyone who knows anything about energy”.

One stands speechless in awe at the quality of our Legislature. The English author William Makepeace Thackery wrote a novel, Vanity Fair, almost two centuries past about another group of people as vain and full of itself as Colorado’s Legislature. Paraphrasing his words only slightly one could say:

“Colorado’s Legislature is a very vain, wicked, foolish place, full of all sorts of humbugs and falseness and pretensions.”

Truly the only more modern commentators qualified to remark on Colorado’s Legislature would be another group of Brits, the comedy troupe Monty Python. Perhaps another Brit, Benny Hill, could be added to the group as a stand in for my very own Colorado State Senator, Lisa Cutter – truly a woman for the ages. She gives meaning to Isaiah 3:12.

In the past winter, Colorado ratepayers suffered from rising utility rates, primarily the result of past legislation turbo charged by the rising cost of natural gas. Even the domesticated local media was forced to reflect the ratepayer’s discontent with higher heating cost. And our legislators stood in front of TV cameras risking broken arms on a regular basis, pointing fingers as they simultaneously patted themselves on the back.

“In a historic first, the Colorado Legislature responded to months of rising utility rates by appointing a Joint Select Committee on Rising Utility Rates”.

This Joint Select Committee held hearings, soliciting testimony from “consumer advocates, ratepayers and environmental groups”. Left unsaid was whether Girl Scout Troop 67358 testified – given their demonstrated expertise on such matters. These hearings exposed the reason for the customers rising cost – outside of their obvious “greed” the dark secret of the utilities being castigated was spending money on lobbying and advertising. An oft cited case in point was Xcel’s donation of $ 80,000 to Coloradans for Energy Access, a non-profit advocating a “slower transition to clean energy”.

A more lucid media might have balanced their reporting, citing the thicket of the past decade’s legislation discouraging fossil fuel supply, increasing its costs while encouraging and facilitating a non-stop legal assault on fossil fuel supply by “non-profit public interest” groups. But then if they said things like that, the reporters might not get to stand in the front row at the next “Taylor Swift concert”.

The members of the Joint Select Committee on Rising Utility Rates then leveraged their insight gained from testimony by “consumer advocates, ratepayers and environmental groups” to sponsor multiple pieces of legislation. Their expertise is on display in the aforementioned Senate Bill 23-16, an awe inspiring kludge, a Rube Goldberg device that is a Catch 22 of such elegance that one’s jaw drops in wonder.

In messaging to Green lobbyists, it is described by its sponsors, including the aforementioned Lisa Cutter, as a “potpourri of measures to accelerate the transition to clean energy”. Yet the official public press release describes it as “measures to address spiking utility rates”. What accelerating the transition to “clean energy” will do about spiking utility rates is left to the public’s imagination – no doubt to that public’s future dismay. Upon reviewing the actual enacted laws, one suspects that utility legal departments as well as campaign donations to members of Colorado’s legislature will grow substantially.

Clearly the cherry on top of the Legislature’s cornucopia produced for the Green ecosystem of activists, consumer advocates, academics and assorted other parasites was a commitment to Net-Zero for Colorado. Senate Bill SB-16 requires a 100% reduction in Colorado’s greenhouse gas emissions by 2050. I am sure this will lower utility rates. In fact anything that would actually reduce energy costs, reduce the costs of providing energy or make energy supply more reliable was notably absent.

One looks at Colorado’s Legislature and after one catches their breath from a bout of riotous laughter, one remembers the words of the Prophet Isaiah in the 10th Chapter of his Book:

“Woe to those who decree unrighteous decrees,

Who write misfortune,

Which they have prescribed

To rob the needy of justice

And to take what is right from the poor of my People,

That widows may be their prey,

And that they may rob the fatherless”

 

Postscript;

As you may infer, my respect for Colorado’s citizen legislature is rather low. In looking at their resumes, one finds them to be young people with extremely narrow backgrounds. Typically elite education, often the Ivy League, followed by a career in government or non-profit. They have never actually done anything except go to Law School and work as an “activist”.

On the other hand, we continue to elect them, so we have no one else to blame. A case in point is Lisa Cutter, my State Senator. How this woman continues to represent the conservative enclave of Littleton highlights the disconnect between America’s citizens and its representatives. My blog highlighted Lisa Cutter some years ago in “Who Is Lisa Cutter?”

 

 

2 Responses to “Colorado – Net Zero & Other Comedies”

  1. Jeffrey Esbenshade says:

    The good folks who moved from Calif to Colorado forgot Calif Prop 13 when you
    purchase a home your property tax will remain same, until you sell your home.
    Gallagher Amendment was similar holding down property taxes. Somehow Colorado votedto overturn Gallagher. Colorado homeowners are faced with very large property tax increases in 2024.The Colo legislature adjourned without any adjustment to property taxes.
    Gov Polis has talked the legislature into Amendment HH which is advertised as
    a property reduction. The real answer is its a backdoor to reduce TABOR refunds.
    The amendment will appear on Nov. ballot and 20 municipalities are opposed to it and it only June.
    Please Calif people moving to Colorado leave your politics on the left coast.

    • Dave says:

      It seems that for years the schools have taught the kids not to question mainstream thought or develop critical thinking. Plus, we have the Californians here that have been brainwashed into left-coast thinking and values. So, we have a legislature that regurgitates and passes laws that coordinate with current faulty thinking. Very few people question whether the ‘Climate Crisis’ or Anthropogenic Global Warming are really happening. They don’t want to be ostracized. If the mean global temperature and sea level are not really changing, why is it a crisis? The real crisis is that the global elites want to use these bogus problems to bring us into subjugation to them. So, their sycophantic minions follow in lockstep, supporting these deceptions.

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